DryCore™
The house fabric. Standard on The Starter. Pro on The Professional. It wicks. That is the specification.
Institute for Perineal Wellness
TAINTILLOW™
The World's First
Perineal Comfort System
Three models for a region the rest of the furniture ignored. All of them, at present, sold out.
The Starter · The Professional · The Royal Taint™
Clinically Tested
Bulletin
The Silent Epidemic
Sitting is a long-form activity. The region in question has, until now, been left to the chair.
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Products designed specifically for this region. Until this page.
House specifications
Engineered for Excellence
Comfort Ratings
4 hours. 8 hours. 24 hours. Assigned the way other companies assign wattage.
- The Starter4 hours
- The Professional8 hours
- The Royal Taint™24 hours
Placement
A non-slip face. It stays where it is put. Mid-meeting adjustments are not part of the system.
The line
Choose Your Comfort Level
Cat. No. 01
The Starter
For the curious beginner
- FabricStandard DryCore™
- Comfort rating4 hours
- CareHand-washable
- IncludedTravel pouch
- Shipping+ $4.99
$29
Sold out
Cat. No. 02
The Professional
For serious comfort seekers
- FabricDryCore™ Pro
- Comfort rating8 hours
- CareMachine washable
- CoreTemperature-regulating gel
- IncludedDiscreet carrying case
- ShippingFree
$79
Sold out
Cat. No. 03
The Royal Taint™
The pinnacle of perineal luxury
- CoreAerospace-grade memory foam
- Comfort rating24 hours
- FunctionHeated massage
- ConnectivityBluetooth app
- FinishPersonalized monogramming
- WarrantyLifetime
- ShippingFree priority
$199
Sold out
All three models are on backorder. They have been on backorder since we listed them.
Institute for Perineal Wellness
The Science of Comfort
Taintillow was developed over 18 months with cyclists, people who sit for a living, and the Institute for Perineal Wellness.
Perineal Pressure Mapping™ ensures optimal weight distribution across the ischial tuberosities while maintaining perineum clearance.
Journal of Perineal Health, 2024: 94% of participants reported significant improvement after three days.
Correspondence
From the field.
“I used to get off the bike to stand in a parking lot. I don’t do that anymore.”
“I sit for a living. The Professional gets me to five o’clock.”
Inquiry
Frequently Asked Questions
- Is it dishwasher safe?
- While our materials can withstand high temperatures, we recommend gentle hand washing or machine washing on delicate cycle. The Royal Taint's electronic components should never be submerged.
- How do I know which size to choose?
- Our sizing chart accounts for both BMI and perineal depth. Simply measure from your ischial tuberosity to your perineal raphe and consult our guide.
- Do you offer discreet shipping?
- All orders ship in plain brown boxes with a return address of “T.T. Comfort Solutions.” Your mail carrier will never know.
- Can I use it while swimming?
- The Starter and Professional models are water-resistant but not waterproof. The Royal Taint should never be submerged. A marine edition has been in development since 2025.
Return Address Division
The waitlist.
Models on backorder.
Current wait: 6–8 weeks. This figure has been stable.